1) Murderers: Let them choose one of two "early retirement plans" - lethal injection or the electric chair.
2) Rapists: Make them wear pink tutus for the duration of their next prison term.
3) Robbers: Make them pay for room and board.
4) Drug dealers: Let them perform their own body cavity searches while everyone watches.
5) Drunken drivers: Decorate their cells with pictures of their victims.
6) Terrorists: Implant a homing device behind their left ear - and an explosive behind the right.
7) Arsonists: Use them for scientific experiments and medical research.
8) Child molesters: Stop them from reproducing by having them spayed or neutered by a veterinarian.
9) Cop killers: Use them as live organ donors.
10) Corrupt politicians: Introduce them to Islamic law and let med students get some practice by amputating whatever body part it was that they used to commit their crimes.